Google+ Reading Teen: Why Are You Apologizing??

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Why Are You Apologizing??

by Andye


I've recently found a new blog that I'm in love with called Notebook Sisters (the name is soon going to change as there is only one sister, Cait, blogging now). I stumbled on it from one of my Bloglovin' recommendations, and I'm so happy I decided to click that link, as it's become a fast favorite.

Cait had an awesome post about how we should Stop Apologizing (or apologising, because she from Australia) on our blogs. I've actually been in the process of writing the same post. I swear the girl has been shuffling around in my brain. This is something that's been bugging me for a long time, and every time I see a new post where someone is telling the world sorry for their blogging choices, it makes want to shake someone. NOOOO!!!! Don't do it!

What are we apologizing for?

The one I see the most, and the one that drives me the most insane, is when bloggers apologize if they haven't posted anything for a few days.

Guys. There is absolutely NOTHING to be sorry about. You owe the world NOTHING. You owe the blogging community NOTHING. You owe authors NOTHING. You owe publishers NOTHING. (Now if you've promised an author/publisher to post something, different story, but that's not what I'm talking about.)



This is kind of harsh. And you may not want to hear it.

BUT REALLY, NO ONE CARES.

If you hadn't told people that you haven't posted anything in a long time, probably exactly zero people would've noticed. Most people follow a ton of blogs, and they just get an update in their feed or an email, and your lack of posting doesn't even register. Until you tell them.

But when you TELL people you haven't posted, it just makes you look unreliable, or flighty.

Of course this is just my opinion.

Back when we first started blogging, 5 years ago (me, Amy, Kit, Austin, & Abigaile) we literally never missed a day. Ever. This went on for a few years until Abigaile & Kit got old and moved away & Austin & Amy got busy. Then, suddenly it was just me. Trying to post EVERYTHING ALWAYS. It got a little hectic, so I basically just quit. I'd post something every once in awhile, but it was only when I felt like it. I never once said anything about "sorry I haven't been around" or "I'm taking a break" or whatever. The percent of people that noticed this happened? Zero. None of the percents.


When I had my break, and got a little rejuvenation, (and the idea of "Review My Books" which is the best thing ever. Hi Becca!) I started posting frequently again, and lo and behold, everyone was still there! No one said, "Hey! Welcome back! I've missed you!" Probably because they didn't miss me. I guess that could mean this blog sucks, but since people are still here, reading these things, I'm going to just go with Out of Sight, Out of Mind.

Basically, I just want you to feel okay about your blogging choices. Stop feeling guilty, stop stressing out, and just STOP APOLOGIZING! You have nothing to feel sorry for!

What are your thoughts on this? Do you find yourself feeling guilty? Apologizing for skipping a few days, weeks, months? Do you think people notice that you're gone if you don't tell them?




P.S. I like how Cait went further about this by listing all the different things bloggers should stop apologizing for, so make sure you go read her post. She seriously cracks me up!


40 comments:

  1. TOTALLY AGREE. I mean, when I was planning my wedding a couple of years ago I was posting like MAYBE once a week and sometimes not at all. At first I was so scared people were going to be like WTF COME ON and then I realized...everybody was still there when I came back and to be honest I had one of the BEST 6 months on my blog I ever had after that...especially community/comment/view wise. I did sometimes give wedding updates so I WOULD kind of be like SORRY I HAVE BEEN SO BUSY BUT I KNOW YOU UNDERSTAND. But really...the world kept turning. It was all okay. Unless it's been a long time...I typically don't notice if a blog doesn't post for a week or so...mostly because I am also really behind on my blog reading and don't read them every day and also because my reader has a SURPLUS of things to read...including a lot of other blog niches.

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  2. Funny you should bring this up :) I'm just back to blogging after taking about 18 months off due to a really serious illness but for 3 years, I blogged daily. About 10 days ago, my brother was seriously injured and I was travelling about 4.5 hours round trip down to the city every day to the hospital he was at. He's okay and home now but I almost did the "Sorry, I've been absent" thing and then thought better of it.
    Mostly, for all the reasons you stated but also because I just didn't want it to sound like an excuse for why I wasn't there. I do feel like I need to visit the people that visit me, so that was more of an issue then not posting.
    Great post, Andye!

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  3. As someone who has been out of the game for a bit, I do have guilt. I fully realize that life just overtakes everything else sometimes. I mean, I feel like the last few months have just been a whirlwind, and I'm fighting to regain control.

    I posted a while back that the blog was going on hiatus; however I think I felt like it was necessary because we have four reviewers who were all caught up in life-related shenanigans at the time. In my estimation it's a rarity that so many people would get sidelined at once, but it happened. As a result, I reasoned that an explanation for sudden dormancy was necessary.

    Nice post, Andye. I'll see you this weekend. :)

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  4. Julie Haselhuhn JonesNovember 17, 2014 at 3:40 PM

    I agree that we shouldn't apologetic . I don't any more and I understand that life is busy. Heck I am working and going to school. So lately I have scheduled posts and post when I do. I don't worry any more because blogging has changed so much over the 9 years I have been doing it. Great topic ...and I mentioned on twitter that I didn't have anything on the blog til the end of the month. lol

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  5. You know, I was really looking forward to this book and enjoyed/loved and reread all of the Percy Jackson books and Heroes of Olympus. But my favorite character and pov is always Percy and Annabeth. I liked the introduction of new characters, but since this would be the last book in the series I really wanted a Percy/Annabeth and even a Hazel pov. I got the book a week early and found out then that there wouldn't be a pov for my fav characters. I still have the book and usually would have read it the same night I got it but because of this info I have been putting it off. But so far all fans of the series said it's been a great read and it has great reviews so far, so I guess I will stop putting it off and read it and hope for the best.

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  6. Wow nine years! That's amazing!! Yeah, I guess by now you've realized that the blogging world will go on, and the world won't stop because you missed a few days. haha! Thanks for the comment!

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  7. It's funny how, until you do it, you're so scared that if you don't post you're going to lose everything! Then when you finally realize, hey, the world's not going to end, it's so freeing! :P

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  8. Thanks Kristi! And I'm so glad you're back and healthy!! And glad that your brother is ok. I'd love to hear how things are on your blog after being gone for 18 months.

    I'm trying to get better at visiting people's blogs. I wish my comments had a place for blog links like wordpress does so I could just click on the link. It's hard when I don't always know where people blog at.

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  9. Amanda P. @ Of Specs and BooksNovember 17, 2014 at 11:25 PM

    I love the Notebook Sisters too! Cait is fantastic, and I totally agree with you! :)

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  10. YAY! I'm so glad I found her blog! And thanks!

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  11. I heart your discussion posts!!!!! This also reminds me of a post I saw about women apologizing for unnecessary things. I wonder if this is a byproduct of this. Sorry I didn't post yesterday. Sorry I didn't make everything homemade. Sorry, I'm not sorry.

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  12. Yeah, I don't think there's anything wrong with saying, "Hey, we're going to be out for a bit. Life and such." I think that's different than some of the blogs I've seen where they're constantly apologizing for not posting for 3 days or whatever.



    Hope everything is going ok with you and all your blogmates! Looking forward to seeing you again! :D

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  13. I should take your advice and Cait's… I should not feel guilty about my blogging habits… I mean I may have say sorry once or twice. But I have come to terms about me and my blog haha. I do say sorry a lot (a lot) in person though…um I guess i am always trying to be nice? Anyhoo great post!

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  14. I can kind of suffer from the "I'm sorry" bug in person too. I find myself apologizing because I don't want people to think I'm a jerk, or to feel bad, or whatever. Oh geez. That's a whole other post. Hahaha

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  15. SO TRUE!!

    I'm sorry my house isn't clean. I'm sorry I have a different opinion than you. Yeah. Why do we do that?

    And THANK YOU MEGHANN!! You're so encouraging :D

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  16. Preach it, sister!! <3 <3 <3

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  17. And world, you have ME to thank for keeping Andye from pulling the plug on the whole shinbang--because how in the world could she just discard a billion followers on a whim? I just couldn't let her disband ENTIRELY. I think I deserve a little credit here (although maybe not for the not-apologizing part). Only then, after ME (and everyone else who sucked her back in), can you thank Andye for her realism and indifference which makes this place so pleasant (which, mind you, is better than being self-consumed & being a people-pleaser). ;)

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  18. you and Cait hit the nail on the head -- brutal, but true, no one cares. blogging isn't supposed to be about others anyhow, right? Life is too short for guilt.

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  19. Candice @ The Grown-Up YANovember 18, 2014 at 11:56 AM

    Pretty sure I need to hug this post and print it out as a daily reminder. I feel sort of bad not posting more often, or when I don't post for a month I feel guilty... And I don't know if it's that I'm apologizing to people who follow my blog or more to myself. Like, sorry self that I've been such a flake, but let's get it together now. However, I think what point I got from your post is that yeah... NOBODY CARES! I think about blogs I follow and I never once think "Oh, I haven't seen a post from so and so in a while." I'm just happy to see their posts, not sad when I don't. I fall into the "My blog sucks and no one likes it now that I've been gone for so long" mindset quite often, but like you said... people are still reading. It really is just out of sight, out of mind. Good attitude to have and I must adopt it more! Thanks for the honest post; just the thing I need now! :)

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  20. Awww, Candice! I'm so glad I went ahead and posted! When I saw that Cait did such a good job I almost didn't, but I thought there might be people who missed her post and could use a good kick (in the best way, haha). I'm glad this was helpful for you :D

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  21. Once upon a time I felt guilty if I didn't post every every day, BUT after three years of blogging I came to my senses :) I know I don't own anything (other than blog tours ans such) to anyone and I do need a break once in a while. Sometimes life (work, kids, book events, birthdays, etc.) is more important than blogging every day. Also, I rather not post for a day or two than just write fluff. Great post Andye!

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  22. Best Escort MallorcaNovember 19, 2014 at 12:06 AM

    This is a very nice blog i really like this blog thanks for sharing it.

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  23. Katie @ The Book SphereNovember 19, 2014 at 12:33 AM

    Thank you so much for posting this and sharing Cait's post. This is all so true and exactly what I needed to hear. I just had a 15 day break and felt terrible about it because I hadn't posted anything or even said why I was gone...but you're so right, no one cared in a good way. Your words have lifted a weight off my shoulders. Thanks for this great post! :))

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  24. Ohh. I love this post. Thank you so much for sharing sweetie. <3 You are all kinds of awesome. And I agree with just about everything :D I say sorry for way too much, lol. I need to stop doing it. :)

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  25. I love this! It makes me so sad when people are constantly apologizing for not posting. It's OK! Your blog shouldn't be your whole life and you shouldn't ever have to be sorry about that.


    I will say though, I did notice when you disappeared for a little bit, and I missed your posts, but despite that, you still shouldn't have to apologize. Whether or not people notice and miss your posts shouldn't matter. Sometimes people need breaks and that's okay and I agree. People need to stop apologizing for having a life outside of the internet.

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  26. Uhm....here I was minding my own biz niz, just trying to read some article on the best blog ever...and I see 'hi becca'. I proceeded to look around my room, wondering how you knew I was reading this. ARE YOU SPYING ON ME ANDYE?! (You totally hid a camera in one of those books, didn't you?) LOL I'm a weirdo! But anyways, I love this post, and I'm using it for What's on Reader's Minds tomorrow, just so you know! :) Annnnddddd, I missed you on the blog btw. Because I, you know, I love you! And I definitely notice when you have a review up from YOU, even if I don't always comment because I'm a slacker! :P

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  27. heehee :D



    Thanks Becca! At least YOU notice when I'm gone. haha

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  28. Well, it's actually good to know that some people did notice :D And that you understand when we don't post as often as usual. So glad you stuck around!!

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  29. Yes! Stand firm :D Thanks Carina!!

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  30. No one cares in a good way. I like that :D

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  31. Yeah, I'm the same way. I'd rather post nothing than a bunch of annoying fluff that's only there to fill up a day. I went through a short spurt where I was posting a bunch of premade tour posts and stuff just so I'd have something up, but then I realized it was so annoying to me to follow those blogs, so I wanted to be the kind of blog I'd want to follow.

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  32. I just followed them on bloglovin'! I LOVE that post. And I admitted that I have apologized in the past. I did do a post about a graphic design thing I had to do for my job and I dropped the F bomb because I was so upset about having to create a bad design. I'm very passionate about Graphic Design and I have a degree in it. So, I was backing up my post with my knowledge of design and how I felt about the design I did. My boss at the time saw it (I think he was LOOKING for any reason to let me go at that point which I don't care about now because I have a job I love). And he fired me because of it. The post is now marked private. Was it a good decision on my part? Probably not. But I had to vent. And I knew the risks and didn't care. At least now he knows how I felt - not that I didn't try to tell him at least a 100 times. He didn't have a degree in Graphic Design. I did. But I believe all things happen for a reason. If it hadn't of happened I wouldn't have the job I love now. You know?

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  33. LOL! I'm observant like that! :)

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  34. Haha I'm loving the shit out of this post. I have to consciously stop myself from apologizing every time I write up a post because I KNOW it's annoying - it annoys me whenever I read it on another blog after all. I KNOW no one cares. Heck, like two people (both of which I know) read my blog to begin with, so... they can complain to my face if they want to.


    I hate it when I visit a blog I haven't heard of and the first thing will inevitably be a sentence on how they're sorry they haven't posted in a while. If you have a huge fanbase and you used to blog every single day, and then you suddenly disappeared - sure, you're allowed to briefly mention you've been busy/hit a blogging slump/were in an alien attack. Any other time? JUST STOP IT. I don't effing care. It just makes me feel negative towards you, which is the exact opposite thing of what you intended.


    Sorry, I'll get off my soap box now. (See what I did there? :D Another thing I hate: people apologizing after long comments in which they express their opinion.)

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  35. THANK YOU. With all the changes the past 2 years have brought, I just don't have the time anymore to dedicate to A Book and a Latte. But I love my blog, so I don't want to quit. So I simply stopped putting stress on myself to post. I just post when I can, and I'm straight forward with authors/publishers on what I can and can't do. It's such a HUGE relief, and it feels good to hear someone say that I don't own anyone anything. It's so true!

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  36. Yeah, never apologize for a thoughtful comment! That's what we bloggers live for, right?? Haha! And yes, I can't tell you how many times I've visited a brand new blog and the first thing I read was, "Sorry I haven't been around much lately," or something to that effect. Immediate turn-off.

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  37. Yep, I've had plenty of times where I just didn't feel like posting anything, and I still have to consciously tell myself to stop stressing. I don't owe anyone anything, and no one is expecting anything out of me. It really is such a relief. :D

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  38. Yes! Reading this book is good. I too was suuuppppeeer disapointed that Percy didn't have a pov. But theres going to be/is a cross over novella with his pov and the Kanes!

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